Gwingana Health Resort

I have a confession, I’m a repeat offender when it comes to health retreats. Golden Door, Camp Eden, Chiva Som in Thailand and a couple of now-defunct Australian places; I can tick them all off. So I know what I’m getting myself into.

But I always find the first few hours somewhat awkward. You have to meet the other guests, have a health assessment and work out how to work your room.

But it’s not all about the shock of the new. Part of the problem is that by the time you get away, you’re in meltdown. Tetchy is a good word to describe my mood when I stumble out of the complimentary transfer into the fresh, gusty air of Gwinganna, half an hour from Broadbeach.

First impressions are favourable. It’s like an old-fashioned village with glassfronted shops, a church, cute cottages and even the original grandstand from the ‘Gabba spread through the trees of Mount Gwinganna.

It’s quaint but it works. The new building projects, including luxurious accommodation, a communal lounge/dining/pool area, fitness centre, lap pool and tennis courts, are well designed and crafted. By this time next year the new gym, spa and wellness centre will be complete, as will further rooms.

Thankfully, with 220 hectares, the construction is well removed from the accommodation.

The health assessment on Sunday evening is unlike any other. No huffing and puffing here, just a request to bend this way and that, a couple of simple stretches and that was it.

All in keeping with the philosophy of promoting functional movement over bone-crunching, heart-pounding exercise.

Just before dinner, the first lecture of the week brings the 30 guests and general manager Sharon Kolkka together. Ms Kolkka knows a good percentage of the assembled audience.

Most encountered her at the Golden Door, where she was program director.

She tells us what to expect. We will be up in the pre-dawn, there will be tai chi, followed by a walk. We will be fed, talked to, watered, massaged and coddled. There will be exercises and games. Afternoons are for rest and relaxation – massages, treatments, reading a book, sleeping. “Dreamtime”, she calls it. She warns us that on the second or third day we will be grumpy as hell as the organic food works and the detox kicks in. She promises we will learn a thing or two about good health, optimum movement, laughter and a few other things besides. And, she says, above all else we will have fun. All of which turns out to be true.